Even the Elderly Want to Marry Foreigners to Emigrate
What’s inconceivable is that an elderly person would seek marriage not for companionship, but simply to help them leave their country.
HAVANA, Cuba. – It may seem inconceivable, but there are elderly Cuban men and women who, just like some younger people, seek to marry foreigners in order to leave Cuba.
I learned of one such case through a close acquaintance: a 70-year-old woman—whose name I’ll omit for privacy—entered into a relationship six months ago via a Facebook friend request site, with a Panamanian man living in Mexico, who is around 80 years old.
Since then, they’ve been talking via video call three times a day, exchanging words typical of lovers. A platonic love story—something not entirely strange, since feelings know no age. However, in this case, her goal is far from romantic: what she’s after is a way out of Cuba.
The foreign man has already promised to marry her, and both have begun legal proceedings with lawyers, notaries, and consular offices in both countries. They’re now considering setting a wedding date.
He has sent her some money (not much—less than $100) to help cover the cost of her passport.
According to what I was told, in order to leave quickly, they would need to marry first in Cuba, then in his country. Otherwise, the process would require him to send her a letter of invitation, legalize their engagement in his country, and then she would return to Cuba to legalize it here—so she can maintain Cuban citizenship and acquire residency abroad.
All of these procedures and expenses fall on him. But I’m told the man doesn’t seem to have the financial means, and he also lacks the time to handle the paperwork, as he’s still working.
One suggestion the man made is for her to travel to Mexico and work there to help support her relatives in Cuba, since he’s only willing to support her.
It will likely be very difficult for the woman to find a job—not only because of her age, but also due to her low level of education.
I’ve been told she feels conflicted. She longs to see another country, to live a better life, free of so many hardships and deprivations—but she doesn’t want to leave Cuba for good and abandon her children and grandchildren.
She’s already somewhat disillusioned by the complicated and slow-moving process and doesn’t know what path to take. She’s told her friends she’s “trying to see if it works out,” and if not, she’ll try to “get something out of the old man.”
Two elderly people wanting to marry isn’t strange. Years ago, I witnessed a church wedding at the San Rafael Home between two elderly residents, officiated by the Spanish priest Simón Aspiru. Unfortunately, one of them passed away from cancer not long afterward.
The idea of finding a partner without meeting in person isn’t new—whether for the young or the old. In ancient times, kings and emperors arranged marriages for their daughters to foreign rulers as a form of political alliance. The bride and groom often met for the first time on their wedding day. In more recent times, radio, television, and pen pal correspondence enabled people to form romantic connections and even future marriages. Now, technology and social media make such arrangements even more accessible.
What’s truly inconceivable is that an elderly person would seek marriage not for companionship, but simply as a way to leave their country.
The case I’ve described could inspire Disney to make a new version of Cinderella—though they’d have to replace the handsome prince and beautiful maiden with two elderly people with wrinkled faces, and the glass slipper with a cellphone.
What drives situations like this is the overwhelming hardship of life in Cuba: shortages of all kinds, constant and unbearable blackouts, difficulties getting around due to the near-total collapse of public transport, the long, exhausting hours spent trying to secure basic necessities, exorbitant prices, low wages, and medicine shortages. All of this creates a high level of stress that makes life unbearable and drives a mass exodus by any means possible.
And that exodus is no longer limited to the young.
ARTÍCULO DE OPINIÓN
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